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How to Keep Money from Destroying Your Marriage - DM 100


Did you know up to 40% of divorces are attributed to issues with finances? Well, I'm going to tell you how to get rid of that issue. It's Jon from Financial MD, welcome to today's Didactic Minute.

 

Here's how you get rid of money and a few other things being an issue in your marriage. The top three things that are difficult to talk about in a marriage are money, sex, and children, and so the solution I've come up with, just by pure logic, is to get rid of those things -- get rid of the children, get rid of the sex, and get rid of the money -- and no problems, right? Ha-ha, obviously, it doesn't work that way. There are a lot of things that my wife would not want to get rid of and there are things that I wouldn't want to get rid of, and usually, they're different things. So you can probably guess what that is.

 

But we've got to have these things and I'm not going to talk about the parenting or the sex; I can't say that I'm an expert in either of those things, but I am a certified financial planner so let's talk about the money thing. How do we handle money in our marriage and how do we not let it be such an issue? Is it going to cause frustration? Possibly. Okay, there are some things that we just can't avoid and this isn't going to be a whole video about marriage tips and how to deal with conflict and how to fix some things that are innate inside you because here's the thing. It takes two healthy people to make a healthy relationship, so you have to start with that. You've got to understand your biases, your psychology, and your emotional drivers to money because you're going to bring them into your marriage. And if you want to keep that marriage -- and I hope you all do -- then you have to understand why money makes you act crazy the way that you do.

 

Money means different things to you than it does to your spouse. It just does. You have different backgrounds. You have different personalities, different wiring, different feelings -- all those things. Understand those things first and know when you start to feel that emotional rise -- “Oh, this is coming from here. It's not coming from her or him. It's coming from something inside… some baggage that I have.” So address that first, and then what system can we develop or put in place.

 

Now my first advice: get a financial planner. Whether it's us or someone else, you need that third party to help you sort through those things, and sometimes there's financial discussions that you need to have in front of somebody else. Not because you're going to punch her, but because you just need someone to hear out both of you and say, “Hey, here's what I think is a good compromise that you're just not thinking of.” And beyond that, I mean, full disclosure, I've hired a financial coach before for me and my wife. I'm good at what I do, but when it comes to the marriage, it just gets too personal and it really helps to have a third party there.

 

So, if you've got questions or you want to chat to somebody, please reach out. Shoot us a message below. Shoot us a DM. You can email us -- go to financialmd.com – anything. We love to talk about this stuff, and sometimes, hey, if you just want to have a call with us, get a third party in there and that helps you out a ton and you never talk to us again… totally fine.

 

So, check out our stuff. Please like and share this video. This will help people, I don't mind saying, and check out our podcast as well. We've got a whole series of videos you can continue to flip through.

 

And it's Jon from Financial MD, we'll see you next time.



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